First of all, I am so grateful that you've taken the time to read my story. I have been on quite the journey in the last few years and I'm honored to be able to share it and provide any kind of encouragement and inspiration to you on your own path. Please continue reading and feel free to email any questions you may have.
If you're personally finding yourself in a position like I did where you're dealing with extra weight and you feel hopeless, desperate and defeated, consider signing up for my Weight Loss Coaching which you can find out more about HERE. Let me partner with you to provide insight, encouragement, motivation and accountability for the journey you have ahead of you.
There is hope, there are answers, there is a better life waiting for you where you can find the person you were truly created to be. Contact me to find out more about Weight Loss Life at deannaadler@yahoo.com.
I have met so many absolutely interesting and wonderful people through this website and have given advice and remained friends with many of them. I have been so honored to help people and offer suggestions of what I have learned in the hope that it will help someone else find the freedom I have found. No matter what a person's story, no matter how much weight they have to lose or what addiction they're dealing with, there are several things we all have in common. In order to lose weight, in order to regain control of your life, in order to find freedom and become the person you were created to be, I am convinced there are certain things you MUST do in order to make a change and make it permanent.
If you have extra weight to lose:
I have never heard a weight loss story that doesn't involve some sort of self-discovery or counseling. I have never heard an incredible weight loss story that doesn't uncover the relationship between something emotional and food. Period. The fact of the matter is that none of us would choose to carry extra weight. We eat to cover something up. Whether it's because we take too much pleasure in food or because we don't care enough about ourselves to make wise decisions, there is a reason that tasting food is better than making changes. I was hesitant about this because I didn't have any big emotional issues. I was never abused or had anything too terrible happen to me; I wasn't covering something up. What I didn't realize until I sat down with a counselor is that there were several little things that had occurred in my life that had hurt me and all those things, as seperate as they were, came together and ultimately sent me messages that I wasn't worth too much. I had never taken the time to string them together to see that they all ended up in the same place; making me feel worthless. But when I saw that connection, when I realized that I WAS using food to make me feel better because of those similar messages, I was able to combat that head on and really fight the problem.
If you have extra weight to lose, I highly suggest you find a coach or a counselor. I hope you will sit down with an objective person who can guide you down a path of self-discovery to uncover things about yourself that you may have never thought of. I hope you will address the issues directly that you may have been avoiding or not connecting together. If you turn out to be the one person in the world who is overweight without issues, please let me know.
For some people, the counseling suggestion is simple. It makes sense and was already something you were thinking about. Others of us push back on it. I have heard so many people say things like, "I don't have any issues", "what can a counselor tell me that I don't already know?", "I don't want to spill my guts to a stranger" and on and on and on. The simple fact of the matter is that if you're overweight, you have issues. Period. I believe it was Dr. Oz from Oprah who said something that just summed it all up for me. He said that overweight people generally know what to do to lose weight, they just don't have the self-esteem to put it into action. I couldn't agree more. I was overweight for years and years and years. I was miserable. But I didn't care enough about myself to do what I knew I needed to do. Why don't you care enough about yourself to make healthy decisions?
This brings me to another thing that ALL heavy people need to consider. What negative messages are you sending yourself that allow you to remain in your current body and not make changes? If you are unhappy about your weight, if you truly desire to change yourself, what messages are going on in your head that make it difficult for you to succeed? I used to say things like, "What does one cookie matter, I'm already so big", "I'll just cheat today and start making better decisions tomorrow", "I have the rest of my life to worry about this, one more time eating cake isn't that big a deal" etc. etc. What messages does your brain hear?
When I was doing well on a diet and then my energy fizzled out, I had to stop and figure out what message I was sending myself to make that ok. Because the reality was, it WASN'T ok. I was morbidly obese and it wasn't ok for me to not address the problem. The negative messages I sent were so powerful that I didn't even question them. Some of them were so engrained into my very being that I didn't even realize they were happening. I had to really slow down and listen to what I was telling myself, then I had to attack those messages one by one. I had to turn them around and even sometimes verbally say, "that's not true, I AM important". I had to trust that God knew what He was doing when He made me and that I really was valuable. I had to focus on my strengths and believe that there were more of them in there somewhere. Until I stopped disliking myself so much, I was stuck.
What are three things you like about yourself? What do your friends, family and coworkers like about you? Do you agree with them? I encourage you to make a list of your accomplishments. Take a moment to be completely selfish and self-centered. Love on yourself a little bit and consider that you are uniquely made with talents and ideas to share with the world.
What if you're dealing with some other kind of addiction?
One of the biggest lessons for me to learn in all of this is that I am addicted to food. That was kind of an odd thing for me to wrestle with because how can someone be addicted to food? Where I ended up is that if you eat too much and get too much satisfaction out of it, you're probably addicted. This is when I started realizing that I have so much in common with people who are addicted to alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc.
The bottom line for all of us, no matter what our "drug" is, is that for some reason, we don't feel we're important enough to take charge and make healthy decisions. It's too hard to take the healthy road, it takes too much energy. What I have learned is that when you have a healthy self-esteem, when you REALLY love yourself, nothing is too hard. Nothing takes too much energy. When you really discover that you're an awesomely made, unique and wonderful person, it becomes almost easy to make decisions that are respectful of yourself.
The root of addiction is low or negative self-worth. To take charge and to really find freedom, you have to attack that and turn it around. The way I did it was to tap into God and believe that He could change me (check it out here). I have found that God's power is awesomely powerful and life-changing. Maybe that's what's going to work for you, maybe it's not. Either way, you HAVE to figure out why you don't feel important enough to respect yourself. That might sound harsh, but it's true. If you respected yourself, you wouldn't allow your bondage to continue.
I hope there are many more of you out there who will share your stories with me. Tell me what you struggle with, tell me what you have learned. I have found that now my path has changed to walk along side people who struggle with addiction and weight issues. Maybe I can give you advice, maybe I can share parts of my story, maybe I can just encourage you somehow. I care because I've been there. I care because I know you can turn your own story around. There's nothing more special about me than you. If I can do it, there's no reason you can't do it too.
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